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Ode to a Tailgater

Hi, nice to meet you too….

–recently, on the Bicycle Club of Philadelphia e-list, someoneĀ  called cyclists “weak, unstable, fleshy vessels…” which became the first line of this doggerel:

To a Driver on My Tail

We are small, weak, unstable, fleshy vessels,
‘Pon uncertain, narrow roads–that much is sure…
Yet we be captains each, commanding cromo steeds
Who dares say what room each man or woman needs?
Not thee, proud up in thy Escalade
Foot firm on gas, and cell call duly made

For me, I pray keep half an eye–
And with good humor take my cry,
of “Jesus, howbout some effing room you smack!”
Which, startled, I do shout to your receding back

And if next red light finds me in thy face
Best take my railing with due grace
Lest through helmet cam and YouTube thou would star
In the short feature;
“Jerkoff in a Dented Car”

–Michael McGettigan, with apologies to any actual poets encountering this

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